Not sure how to…

Not sure how today is. Started out gerat! My first class was canceled, so instead of getting up at 8 I got to sleep in till 10. Second class was let out a half hour early and last class we watched a movie. Better yet we will be watching it all week. But there is something that is wrong. I can feel it. “
Not sure if it is my health, I woke up, at 3am, with no feeling in my left leg and it wasn’t “asleep” I never got that tingling feeling. I could move it but the feeling was numb. After an hour of worrying I fell asleep and woke up and it was fine. I have been getting dizzy standing up, get into these dazes that I just am not paying attention to anything around me. It has been weird. And if you think oh she probably eats like crap, you are right. 
That is a major problem. And it always has been.
But I am a broke college student, about to graduate, paying about $500 a month in bills, excluding the $275 4 times a year for house insurance, and only making about $550 a month. I will not go on food stamps because I feel I can take care of myself. The problem is money and I work at a place where I get the food we normally throw away at the end of the day and the managers let us take whatever. So I live on that, and none of it is healthy. I can’t afford much, well anything. The $50 left over usually goes to gas. I just hope I can graduate in May, sell the house right away, pay off all loans and start being comfortable and not worrying about money. I don’t want to be rich, but I want to be able to buy a $10 dress I love that is on ridiculous sale. 
Worried for my wellbeing and my mental health at the moment. Just don’t have any motivation. 

❤ Yupithappens

Unknown

If you knew me you wouldn’t notice what makes me tick. It doesn’t jump out and scream “yeah thats so her”
I live for conflict, problems, and other people giving up. I thrive in tough situations with high stress. I Live for problem solving and being there when people need me. I try to act like thats not who I am because at some point I like it to be about me and not others. I don;t give up easily and walking away from problems is impossible for me. I like fixing them and then I can walk away so during a fight me walking away to cool off is not easy. At all. I think it is my biggest strength and weakness. Especially when it is something I am passionate about and something I believe in.
Living life shining in problems
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I Will

One day
I will be recognized for all I do
I will have a family
I will feel good about myself
I will be healthier
I will sell my house
I will land a job I love
I will graduate college
I will have my own dog
I will be married
I will not have any debt
I will not have to worry about money
I will be happy
I will survive all that life throws at me
I will believe that the future is bright
I will live to see grandchildren and great grandchildren
I will not let the negatives bring me down
I will be who I want

And when this is all achieved

I will have the perfect life

❤ Yupithappens

Old and Pain

I have health problems. And I am not sure if people don’t wanna point them out or say anything about them because they aren’t as big of a deal as I make then seem or they are a big deal and don’t wanna do anything to scare me. Researching doesn’t help because it either is scary or not helpful or just kinda close. It’s awful when I’m in my early 20’s and have trouble sitting up or getting out of bed or standing for hours or even walking the mall or standing at the local parade. It’s awful. The more I do to try and help myself fix problems the more hurts and the weaker I feel. Ugh I just wanna feel like the young gymnast I used to be.
Young woman stuck in an old woman’s body.

❤ Yupithappens

Just Punch Me

Sometimes I wish people wouldn’t fight with me verbally. I wish they would just punch me in the face. It hurts a lot less and will be over quickly.
Punch me now.
</3 yupithappens

Feeling Good vs. Looking Good

I have always been told by my current boyfriend that I look beautiful even when I am waking up and haven’t gotten ready for the day. It is a wonderful thing to hear and know that no matter what I look like that he will love me. But actually feeling like I am that pretty is a totally different story. I look at myself and think I could look better or I should work out or I should eat better.
Motivation is my problem. Yes I feel great when I know I eat well or after a great workout but actually getting there or thinking other food looks better than that apple is my problem. There is always something that looks like a better option.
Well I finally got my motivation.
I recently started going to the chiropractor because at my young age I was having major left hip pain when I stood for long periods of time or worked out the once in a while I did and I was thinking i am under 30, I should not have hip problems…
So the chiropractor said I only have 4 vertebre in my lower back instead of the 5 ou are supposed to. My lowest vertebre is twisted and tilted to the left so it pushes against my hip. I went to the chiropractor probably 10 times in the past 2 weeks to see if he could crack my back to get it realigned. Well we are on the right path, but I also have to work out and strengthen my core or else I will always be in pain because it will keep slipping back into the position it was in.
And to go along with that I have been feeling sick so have been drinking a lot of orange juice and it gives me the motivation to eat healthy.
Hopefully I can start getting into a routine and keep me from being in pain.
I hope I can stay in the gym, off the computer, and away from the fried foods, chocolate and all the other crap I love so much.
Wish me luck!
❤ Yupithappens

TAKE A HINT

Girls, if a female friend is texting you we need to hang out soon, what are you doing tonight, I wanna see what you did with the place since I was last there etc at weird hours and is totally random with the convo it means they need to see you because they hate texting you their problems. Most girls like face to face to have that person to cry to and then they know they have the full attention that they need not like you are something that is interrupting what you are currently doing like most texts are. So next time someone says hey what are you up to on a Tuesday night before finals at midnight see if they need you. Because 9chances /10 they do!!! So offer your shoulder they will be there when you have that problem.

Now what do I do after 6 people don’t get it… Ugh fml

❤ yupithappens

Drink or DKRNI

I understand why people drink. Loosen up, celebrate, have fun. But I think it is over rated. One here and there is fine. Trying to drink more than your friends is not good. Being taken care of, throwing up, not being able to walk and putting your life in danger is not worth it. Making yourself seem stupid because you post on facebook, butt dial people, mess up texts, send e-mails to the wrong people and never know who will see them or who you dialed or what your phone autocorrected in that text you sent to your teacher, who has the same name as your brother. But people still do it, and usually don’t think of anyone but themselves. They can hop in a car and drive when they can’t even stay awake or standing, might wander into a busy street or pass out on a sidewalk. Ugh

Frustrated at dumb people for putting more than their own life in danger

❤ Yupithappens

At My Worst, He Still Loves Me

As I get used to living with my boyfriend I feel more and more in love with him. When I don’t feel good he takes care of me and I always try my best to make him happy. We have disagreements but always make up and we always find a way through the day. I love him and can’t wait to see what tomorrow has in store for us. He mkes me happy and calls me beautiful when I havent showered and my hair is all over and I am still in my pjs. He makes me comfortable and watches over me when I am sick and he always can make me smile when I am having a bad day. I do my best I can to give back to him what he gives me but he is so amazing that nobody could ever understand. I love him.

❤ Yupithappens

First Kiss

When I was kissed for the first time by my current boyfriend, after our first big break up (thats another story), I did not want to be kissed by him. We agreed to talk and after talking in person a lot after not being civil for a long time. When he started to kiss me, my mind went okay you can either 1) pull away and stop all of this now or 2) enjoy it and see what happens. I thought how much I disliked him still and how much I wanted to walk away but my heart would not let me. I sat there and let him kiss me and it turned into me kissing him back. I remember all of the emotions that went through my head and how much I was enjoying the kiss, even though I never wanted to talk to him again after that day my heart would not let him go. I never stopped loving him. After 2 years of not knowing what was going on and hating him so much, I still loved him. I never let that go. Even in other relationships and with other people, I still looked at if he was online and would be tempted to try and talk to him. That kiss, his first move, made me remember why I never wanted him to leave, I wanted to be his, I wanted him to love me like I still loved him. That kiss was bringing back my love for him and made it impossible to pull away. He made me fall in love with him all over again. If he never kissed me that day we would not have the amazing life we do today. I love him with all of my heart.

❤ Yupithapens